Dear Hannah Pt. 4

Well, here I sit at home, far away from my first born son.  In my mind’s eye, I imagine you sitting in your home somewhere in the hill country of Ephraim.  It seems to me that a mother’s heart is timeless and not bound by culture or language.  Did you have some of the same feelings I now have? I wonder...  Did you feel that nagging sense of dread mixed with that cautious excitement because you knew what you were doing was right?  Were you brave when you thought you’d be weak, and then did you burst into tears when you least expected it?  That’s what I did all last week when we took our son to his school and got him all set up.

One thing I forgot:  we’d be there on a Sunday.  I brought no clothes at all for the rest of us to attend church.  My eldest, of course, had all his clothes.  His whole life was packed into two bags and a guitar case.  But the rest of us brought only casual clothes.  Thankfully, the international church was a mix of casual and dressy.  As I read over 1 Samuel 1 again, I see that you were prepared.  You brought a rather large sacrifice to Shiloh, along with your son.  And while you were there, getting your son all set up and leaving him there, you worshiped the Lord.

Well, I can tell you that I did not feel like worshiping the Lord that Sunday.  My heart was not in it, though I stood to sing the songs.  And as I did, I worshiped the Lord out of the “bare bones” of my faith.  No warm fuzzy feelings, no big happy smiling, just a faith that what we are doing is right, and a trust that the Lord would take care of my son.  I was praising God because I knew the words were true and I believed them with all my heart, though that same heart was hurting.  It was not worshiping because it felt good, it was worshiping because it is true; and that made it beautiful.  We sang “Sing to the King,” and as I sang, “we belong to Jesus” I realized that we (both my son and I) belong to Jesus.  My son does not belong to me, he belongs to Jesus, as do I.  And the next words were:  “He is all we need.”  Jesus is all my son needs.  Jesus is all I need.

Hannah, you sang a song when you were worshiping.  Somehow, I always assumed that song was sung when Samuel was born.  But you actually sang it when you took Samuel to leave him at the temple.  I have to admit, it doesn’t seem very catchy.  I don’t really get your train of thought either, all that stuff about death and life, rich and poor, starvation and broken bows and thunder and enemies.  Our songs of worship may not have crossed the lines of time, but if our mother hearts do, then I imagine you sang that song out of your bare bones of faith too.  And that’s what makes it beautiful.

We worship God in the easy times.  We worship God in the hard times.

Come let us sing a song, a song declaring we belong to Jesus.  He is all we need!

Our son's school is on the coast.  A beautiful reminder of the greatness of our King!