Dear Hannah,
Your story of mothering from
afar is comforting to me. That is what I am learning to do. I read about the
first time you parted with your son and my own feelings of parting with my son
surface. I stare at 1 Samuel 2:11, “Then Elkanah went home to Ramah, but the
boy ministered before the Lord under Eli the priest.” After the beautiful gift
of God (your precious baby boy) and the faithful keeping of your promise (to
give him back to the Lord), you pray a wonderful prayer. The first part of your story is filled with
emotion. I feel the pain, rest in the peace, rejoice in the answer to prayer
and stand in awe at your strength. There is so much meaning in these first verses of the book named after
your son. Then, in chapter two verse eleven, “Elkanah went home to Ramah.”
That’s it. Elkanah went home...the end.
I don’t think so!
How about “Elkanah and
Hannah went home, and as they walked, they found themselves looking around for
Samuel, thinking he was walking home with them”? Or how about, “Elkanah went
home and Hannah set the table for three...and then sighed and put one plate
back on the shelf because there were only two people eating that night”? Or
maybe, “Elkanah and Hannah went home and Hannah thought of a funny joke to tell
Samuel, only Samuel wasn’t around and Elkanah already knew the punch-line.” I
think one of those sentences would be more realistic. There is so much more
written between the words, “Elkanah went home.” I didn’t know that before,
Hannah, but I do now. There is so much more written between the lines when I
say, “Our son is attending boarding school.”
What did you do when you
returned home? How did it feel? I have the wonderful benefit of parents who have
had a very similar experience as mine. My mother wrote a letter for me to read
when I got home from taking our son to school. I will share it with you:
Dear Jana,
Well – the house surely
seems different now, doesn’t it? It will take awhile to get used to. Don’t let
yourself wallow in this sadness. Just recognize it and remember it is part of
God’s plan (for you as well as your son) and therefore is a good thing. Don’t
miss what God is teaching you now. He will fill that aching hole with Himself.
He will give you peace and comfort – it’s coming.
Dad and I are
praying for each of you as you adjust to this. We hurt with you. But we also
have the perspective of having been through it three times. Each time a little
different and each time He showed us something new about Himself (and
ourselves). He is trustworthy and faithful.
We are praying for
you guys.
All our love,
Mom and Dad
I am thankful that God gave my mother the wisdom to read between the
lines of “our son went to boarding school and then we went home”! I am curious, if you could re-write the
verse, Hannah, from your own experience, what would you write between the words
“Elkanah went home to Ramah”?
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