I had several ideas already for what I could do and was making little mental notes and trying not to get too invested in case it didn't work out. But a Skype call on Friday confirmed that all is a "go" and I can buy my tickets. Woohoo!
But also, after talking for over an hour with my friend, a cloud of doubt crept into my head.
What do I have to offer these ladies? Nothing!
I watched helplessly as the doubt monster flung all my ideas out the window. (Oops, I already described the doubt as a cloud and now it's a monster. I guess it was a cloudy monster...or a monstrous cloud. Either way, it stomped on my happiness.)
After the conversation, I drove to school to pick up the kids. I parked the car and walked across campus to sit on a bench overlooking the beach. Yes, you read that right, my kids go to school by the beach. Life is crazy.
The benches are at the edge of a drop-off that goes down to a second ledge and then the beach. From here, I had a beautiful view of the water and the mainland in the distance. On this day, the view took my breath away. A storm approached and dark clouds shaded the water, turning it to a beautiful turquoise, like a sparkling gem. I was overcome with peace.
God orchestrated that storm: the rain-filled clouds, the color of the water, the cool wind. He was completely in control of it. If He can do all of that--can create something so magnificent--He can guide me to prepare for this retreat.
"Remember to extol his work, which men have praised in song. All mankind has seen it; men gaze on it from afar. How great is God--beyond our understanding!...He draws up the drops of water, which distill as rain to the streams; the clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind. Who can understand how he spreads out the clouds...God's voice thunders in marvelous ways he does great things beyond our understanding." (from Job 36 and 37)
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